Hey friend,

Just as a quick refresher, last week we talked about why setting a boundary often triggers that overwhelming, stomach-churning panic in your body, and how that panic isn't Holy Spirit conviction, but actually your nervous system reacting to breaking a deeply rooted habit of people-pleasing.

I promised you that today we would look at the ultimate model for guarding your peace without guilt: Jesus Himself.

I'm here to keep that promise.

Somewhere along the line, many of us were taught that being a good Christian woman (whether a mother, daughter, sister, or friend) meant being infinitely available, saying yes to every demand, and sacrificing our own mental, emotional, and physical health to keep everyone else comfortable. That's just what we're supposed to do, right?

But have you noticed that when you read the Gospels, you see a completely different picture being painted? Let me show you what I mean by reminding you of who Jesus is.

While on earth, Jesus was deeply loving, full of grace, and laid down His life for all of us on the cross—but He never people-pleased, over-explained Himself, and He routinely set clear, unapologetic boundaries.

So why are we expecting so much out of ourselves, when even our Lord and Savior needed rest and occasionally said no to people's requests?

Not sure what I'm talking about? That's okay, because I have some Scripture to back up what I'm saying. Here are four ways Jesus modeled biblical boundary-setting:

(1) He Set Physical Boundaries to Guard His Rest & Prayer

Jesus knew that to fulfill His mission, He had to protect His energy and prioritize quiet time with the Father. Even when people were desperately searching for Him to be healed, He stepped away to be alone.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: ‘Everyone is looking for you!’ Jesus replied, ‘Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.’” — Mark 1:35–38

Jesus didn’t rush back because people were demanding His attention. He held His boundary because He knew His true assignment.

(2) He Set Conversational Boundaries with Toxic People

When religious leaders tried to bait Him into bad-faith debates or trap Him with manipulative questions, Jesus didn’t feel obligated to defend Himself or answer them.

“The chief priests and the teachers of the law and the elders came to him. ‘By what authority are you doing these things?’ they asked… Jesus replied, ‘I will ask you one question… John’s baptism—was it from heaven, or of human origin? Answer me!’ They discussed it among themselves and said, ‘If we say from heaven, he will ask, then why didn’t you believe him?’ … So they answered Jesus, ‘We don’t know.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.’” — Mark 11:27–33

Jesus set a firm conversational limit. He recognized when an interaction was disingenuous and simply declined to engage.

(3) He Set Relational Access Boundaries

Jesus forgave freely, but He did not give equal access to everyone. When King Herod demanded an audience with Him, motivated by mockery and entertainment, Jesus gave him complete silence.

“When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased… He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer.” — Luke 23:8–9

Jesus understood that He was under no obligation to perform or explain Himself to someone operating out of entitlement. Silence can be a holy boundary.

(4) He Protected His Calling from Family Pressure

Even when His earthly family became concerned with public opinion and came to step in, Jesus kept His divine mission first.

“When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, ‘He is out of his mind.’ … Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. … He looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.’” — Mark 3:21, 31–35

He loved His family, but He did not allow familial guilt or expectations to dictate His God-given calling.

Setting boundaries isn't cold, selfish, or un-Christian, so don't let someone tell you it is. I believe it to be Christlike stewardship.

If Jesus—the sinless Son of God—needed quiet, set limits on His time, and walked away from demanding crowds to protect His peace, why do we think we can survive without doing the same? If He prioritized rest and boundaries, we certainly need to as well.

I'd like to ask you to take a moment today to ask yourself—and take time to reach out to the Holy Spirit, asking for clarity, guidance, and wisdom: Where in my life am I saying yes to people, when God is calling me to step away and rest? Am I ignoring God's gentle calling to step away, and is that causing me unnecessary burnout or torment?

Wondering where to go from here? You can learn more about how we can work together, submit an application for 1:1 coaching, or simply respond to this email.